13.1 things you need to know!

So leg number two, of the long three legged beast referred to as the Heartland Series is complete. The Garmin Marathon was a beast, but by far the best race I have ever run! Not only was it a PR (Personal Record) for me by 16 minutes—yea that’s right I shaved off 16 whopping minutes—but I was only 5 seconds, 5 SECONDS behind my sister. It was a sprint to the finish and she took the upper hand. Ah well, one more race to go and who knows what may happen! 





My parents also surprised us on the course, which was awesome! Yes, they have a duck- why? because no matter where they are, we can see the duck and we can find them in a sea of people- ingenious really.Plenty of messages of support (thank you, thank you, thank you!), and a great course!

I thought I would take the time to review the things you should know about running a Half Marathon so that the nerves you MAY feel in taking on this kind of goal will diminish.

Let’s do 13.1 things you need to know in the only fashion I know how… Humor mixed with a dash of emotional and a double shot of “Oh no she didn't!”

 1 – Beer. Does this reason need to be elaborated? Really? Most races offer their participants beer at the finish (choose wisely, they don’t all offer this). I have been told “I don’t think I would want a beer after running 13.1 miles”, well first off let me say that I don’t know if we can be friends anymore, and secondly- sit down, drink up and like it. Beer is awesome and you have earned it!

2—You will get bling at the end, and it’s a “Finisher’s Medal”, not only for those that are super human and can run a (5) minute mile (I don’t care if that’s you- it’s not normal and you should be tested for exposure to a spider, or maybe even kryptonite), but for everyone that finishes in front of the cop car clearing the course. <-- Yep, that has been me before while I was pregnant with baby #2! 




The medals have come a long way since I started! Look at the difference between my first KC Marathon Finisher and last year's medal! 


Crazy cool bling! And yes, maybe I wear it the whole day after the race when I get groceries. And maybe when I see people look at it, I say I won it in a mad dash to the finish. I am a rock star and I have the bling to prove it. (And soon, so will you!)

3—Try before you race with it. Don’t do anything new on race day- I promise it is a bad idea. I thought a new bra (on sale- BONUS) would look cute on a race I was doing with my new top. So I went for a mile jog in it and seemed to work out okay so I sported it on race day. When I say try it, I mean TRY IT! Take whatever it is on your LONG run, I had sores on my neck for days from where gravity helped cut that bra into my beautiful skin. Don’t do it- resist the urge- try it before you race in it!

4—Throughout the course, whether you see them or not, there will be photographers on the course. And they are SKILLED in getting the worst picture possible. I promise. No matter how you think you look while you’re running, this will rock your world! (Why do you think I always try to pose? Best to make fun of the world’s worst picture!) Let me show you what I mean by not flattering…. (And I am pretttttttty attractive, so just keep that in mind while scrolling!)

One of my very first 10k's....
Yea... I look so bad my headband is running away from my face!

Running in for the KC Half... Its just not flattering!

What in the world is so great?? It's the end of the race!

I love this photo, because you can't even tell I am moving! Pick up your feet shuffles!

I blame this on the layers....

AHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I am not even running!

This picture perfectly captures PAIN

Disclaimer: Best to keep in mind that the photographer COULD from a newspaper hundreds read, so pose accordingly!

This was our great idea to "pose" for the camera....
Yea that camera was for the city wide newspaper... NAILED IT

5—No matter how you prepare, the socks you wear, the shoes you choose or the amount of duct tape you apply… Blisters will come. And they will make themselves known around mile 7, and disappear from thought around mile 10. This is most likely because you have completely rubbed them off of wherever they were. And I am not talking about just on your feet, if it rubs, it blisters.  No worries, everyone wants to have callouses and old blisters all over, right? I think of it like stretch marks, gotta have battle wounds my friend.

6 – Speaking of battle wounds, let’s talk about chaffing. Even in my longest practice run, I have never suffered from chaffing wounds as badly as I have during an actual race. I don’t quite get it, but trust me on this one. I ended up with two scars on my chest, right in front where my shirt hit, and the scars look like hickeys that you get in high school. Awesome. Buy the glide on stick- it will be your BEST FRIEND and liberally apply it. And when I say liberally, I mean if you could dunk yourself in a tub full of this stuff- then do it. Trust me, the bikini line, the bra line, and your heels, under your arms… If it rubs then you need to glide it!

7 – There will be various pacers for the race, easily spotted by the big stick they carry noting their pace. Don’t be afraid of them, even if you’re a lone wolf runner like me; let them do the hard work for you. Get behind them and keep up. Finishing this kind of distance is a mental thing. 100%. You have to convince your inner demon that you can in fact do this and that you will. My inner demon(s) have multiple conversations throughout my long runs. They often include discussions about slowing down, sitting down or wanting to die. Once you get over that hurdle, you can do anything. So try it. Find a pacer, stay with them and get yourself a PR!! (they are usually nicer than your demons anyways!)

8 – If you have followed my blog for a while, you have noticed that the best time to get ahead of my sister is when she stops for a bathroom break. She always has to go! Always. I have now learned that maybe if my bladder hasn’t sent the signal yet, I should still try to go. Sadly, I felt the effects of both my age and the hardships of running for a few hours at one of my last races. As soon as I crossed the finish line, it happened, I was going to wet my pants and there was nothing I could do to stop it. THANK GOODNESS for wearing a maxi-pad. Ladies, invest in the Always and wear them…. Always. If not for peeing, than for chaffing, SCORE double purpose!

9—Mother Nature is a fickle, evil lady. No other way around it. She will tell you to expect 60 degrees and sunshine and change her mind at mile 5. This year’s Garmin race was no exception. The weather was perfect and we were looking at 30% chance of rain after about an hour in. What that really meant was that it was going to DOWNPOUR an hour in. It rained so hard I thought it was hailing (or that I was simply that stinking fast that the rain hurt)! Be prepared for the 30%. I was in a tank top, and frozen to the bone by the finish, a t-shirt would have been better attire had I taken that 30% chance more seriously. Either way, enjoy what you get- although we were drenched, freezing and running through a flooded course- it was epic.

10 – Let’s talk about burning calories. Have you entered how many calories you burn if you run for 3 hours straight at a 12 min/mile pace?? Let me help you, it is a deficit of 2,340 calories! Now, I take that and multiply that by 5, because that is how many days AFTER the race I continue to eat at the pace of burning that many calories. Why? Because dangit, I earned it! Who cares if I have a beer and a brat for breakfast, I ran 13.1 miles three days ago- don’t judge me, join me!

11 – If you don’t know me very well, I will let you in on a secret… I am a cheapskate. Horribly. And running is NOT cheap. However, let me tell you one thing I don’t short money for is running gear. And when you run a half marathon you get the coolest gear, and don’t skirt around on money- you definitely get what you pay for! Plus, I think for every race, you deserve a new outfit, new compression pants, dri-fit socks, heavy duty bra (which I am STILL in search for one that keeps them in one place) and a fancy new running shirt. Hopefully you will wear them again, PLUS running pants are surprisingly slimming!


12 – I never thought this would come out of my mouth in a zillion years, BUT… Fanny packs are considered cool in running. Not a joke, they are very handy when it comes to the GU, car keys, Band-Aids and ibuprofen you have stashed for emergencies (which most likely you will need it all). Rock that fanny pack and stand tall! Yes, there is a gear check tent at every race, and you can turn in your additional gear for the race officials to hold until the finish, but I am way too anxious to part with my precious cargo, so fanny pack it up and join the cool kids!

13 – Running CAN be social. For me, is it? Nope. But I am not keen on social interactions when I am not running. However, you CAN meet 13 people, and you CAN make 13 more friends and you CAN enjoy all the social aspects of this sport. The sky is the limit when there are hundreds of people loaded into a chute just waiting their turn to kick some asphalt!

.1 -- I just think my new shirt says it all....

At the end of the day, don’t be nervous. This is something you will always have the bragging rights for finishing! Rock the pavement, finish strong and have a beer (or 6) because you deserve it! I am in awe of your accomplishment, just keep accomplishing!

One more leg to go, and I hope whatever you are gearing up for you are taking it head on! I would love to cheer you on- send me a message and let me know what you are up too!

May your fanny pack be full, and your inner demons be quiet!

~K